Jokes for Those Who Love Grammar and Punctuation

Here are some jokes and wordplay that will tickle the funny bones of people who love grammar and punctuation. I Love Grammar! I Love Punctuation! I Love Wordplay!

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

I wanted to marry my English teacher after she got out of jail but, alas, you can’t end a sentence with a proposition.

Grammar: The difference between know your shit and knowing you’re shit.

The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.

Punctuation saves lives: Let’s eat Grandpa! Let’s eat, Grandpa!

When I was a kid, my teacher looked at me and said, “Name two pronouns.” I shrank, “Who, me?”

I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you’re good with grammar, you’ll get it.

Dear Girls, We hate periods too. Sincerely, Commas.

i before e… except when you run a feisty heist on a weird beige foreign neighbor.

What do you say to comfort a grammar Nazi? There, they’re, their.

What’s another name for Santa’s elves? Subordinate Clauses.

Ambiguity: What happens in Vagueness stays in Vagueness.

A woman without her man is nothing. A woman: Without her, man is nothing.

The #1 rule in arguments: If you’re losing, start correcting their grammar.

Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments often goes unnoticed.

Jokes for people who love grammar and punctuation!


About John Kremer

John Kremer is author of 1001 Ways to Market Your Books, the Relationships Matter Marketing program, and many other books and reports on book marketing, Internet marketing, social media, and book publicity. -- .

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