George Carlin: On Treating People Right #Funny

Check out how George Carlin, an incredible comedian, plays with words and meanings. You can do the same when you write a book or blog post. Don’t try to be funny. Just have fun.

George Carlin Jokes

Have you ever noticed that anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? — George Carlin

I don’t have pet peeves. I have major psychotic fucking hatreds! — George Carlin

A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. — George Carlin

I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. — George Carlin

The reason I talk to myself is that I’m the only one whose answers I accept. — George Carlin

Think about how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. — George Carlin

Here’s all you have to know about men and women: Women are crazy. Men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. — George Carlin

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. — George Carlin

Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things. — George Carlin

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. — George Carlin

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? — George Carlin

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. — George Carlin

The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment. — George Carlin

George Carlin's Brain Droppings George Carlin's It's All Bad George Carlin's 3 x Carlin

About John Kremer

John Kremer is author of 1001 Ways to Market Your Books, the Relationships Matter Marketing program, and many other books and reports on book marketing, Internet marketing, social media, and book publicity. -- .

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